a piece of life

should admit i'm not a good blogger. but my mind feels full and let this post be a somewhat pensieve for my thoughts.

firstly i'm already 17. but i prefer being 16... 17 is too much responsibility.. and it's close to 20.
okay that's not what i want to blog about-.-

now almost time for end-term test. and i got a quiz tomorrow. yeah now isn't the right time to blog but somehow i can't bring myself to study *sigh*
but still.. i wish i get good scores. but have to turn it to 'i will' that's what's hard about study. changing your good marks wish to a will.
i do afraid for the dropped out thingy my college has-,- but.. argh. *frustrated*
and i have a group task. but my team... is no good==". i have to work my ass off to finish the task. i do that for my sake, not their.
my last confession.. is.. i killed someone. no, it's a joke. i like someone. but he already had a girlfriend. annoying eh?-_- it's been a reaaaaaally long time since i like someone but now i like the wrong person. good job me-_-. oh don't ask further about him. i'm already kind hearted and embarrassed enough to admit it.

next issue is my country.
why we have to pay for something free? i can see it clearly that the service provided to make an ID is free, but the staff bluntly said that have to pay. and i know that the money goes to his pockets. annoying. additionally the service they provided isn't good. some of the staffs in the room just sit and chat and only 2 people working. 1 receiving the citizens and other processing the data on computer. they said the network is sucks so that's why we have to wait for a long time. but can't they think of something to make their works faster and more efficient?
and also i read Alanda Kariza's blog post. her mother sentenced 10 years in prison and have to pay fines Rp 10 billions for something she didn't do. her bosses who actually guilty only sentenced 8 years and 6 years. why this country can't see which is right? why those people could only see money? why they can't see responsibility? they should works based on the rules, not based on the money they get. maybe they don't have enough salary *or they think it's not enough because of their greed* but they could works harder and find other better way to earn money. they shouldn't ask for things they shouldn't get nor works based on other people "request". (IMO, there's someone who has power wants to get her mother as a scapegoat)

i wish my generation.. when now they all talks about bringing this country to be better, they'll do it for sure. i hope my generation won't change their minds later when they already being someone powerful. in 20 or 30 years, i wish youth nowadays, my generation, could use their power to change my country to be better.. like they wish it now.