Ermmmm

still lack 12 pages for report, tapi dimana niat ngetiknya? huft.
bengong2 terus jadi mikir, talent gw apa ya? nulis? bukan kayaknya. sesering apapun gw nulis apapun, mau diary, blog, puisi(?) tetep aja kalo dapet tugas/ujian ngessay ya bingung. kayak laporan ini nih, susah elaborate nya. gambar atau desain? i learn(ed) to draw well, bukan bakat alami. sekarang udah jarang banget ngegambar arau ngedesain, idenya sering mentok kayak nulis. nyanyi? beuh, jeleknya suara ngelebihin fals *lebay* ya not good lah. dance? err i need a long time to memorize the moves dan ga fleksibel banget badan gw. belajar kara yang lupin aja dua minggu-_- padahal ga susah. bahasa asing? itu mah belajar yak. apalagi dong yang bisa disebut talent? alat musik? olahraga? ngek bzzz heeem.

yah mau apapun itu, semoga terdiscovered nanti tepat waktu. sekarang mah learn to be better in every aspect ajah, sambil nyoba2 hal baru 0:) *ini gw kesambet apa sok bijak gini*

die

...harusnya, tapi kok ya gw woles ya HAHA.
jadiiii besok adalah deadline ngumpulin laporan ke dosen by email. tapi ya gw belom kelar. boro2 proporsional beuh-_- yang baru kelar bab 1, bab 2 A, bab 3A ajah. jengjengjeng!!!!! terus masih sempet gitu ya gw ngeblog? ulalala i need to unleash this stress, i dont know what to write there-.- di otak gw sih bisa kebayang apa yang harusnya ditulis, tapi gw ga bisa merangkai kata-katanya. terus tadi youtube-ing malah nemu lagi davichi yang belom pernah gw denger, yaudah nonton mvnya dulu. daaaan ternyata lagunya galau gitu sial mood gw kebawa ga penting abis-.- tapi enak kok lagunya, lagu mereka sih selalu enak~
BACK TO LAPORAN WEH!
anyway kalo ada yang mau ngerjain laporan gw, kalo cewek gw jadiin sodara, kalo cowok dijadiin suami *yekali, dikata sayembar dongeng2* ABAIKAN

belom kelar oh oh oh e oh, oh oh e oh *joget i got a boy snsd*
tadi sempet nonton mv nya sweet sorrow yang judulnya jus get away (you deserve it) terus jadi pegen get away dari laporan beneran /plak/

oh ya siapapun yang baca post gaje inih, tengkyu, dan semangatin gw, doain gw, apapun lah biar laporan kelar dan cetar. *siapa elu ce? siapa juga yang mau baca*

If only I could get drunk just to forget everything for awhile....... Thinking too much and too deep is exhausting.

PKL

Jadi udah kelar PKL selama 25 hari yey! Ga yey juga sih, lebih demen PKL daripada harus ngadepin laporan, bingung nulisnya gimana hikssss. Awalnya sih bosen, behind the desk routines don't suit me much. tapi lama2 asik juga. Pegawainya seru-seru(?) walau nyaris ga ada yang kece. (cuma nemu satu, dan gatau nama si masnya ga pernah satu seksi hahahaha) Terus ditambah 3 hari pula, gegara pak kepala kantor minta bantuan tugas dari pusat yang deadlinenya mepet. Eh ternyata kerjaan 3 hari itu kelar dalam 3 jam sajah~
Next ambil uang saku PKL deh (hello money~ /plak).
Selama PKL, kelar 3 drama cuy. Yamada Taro Monogatari (ninooooo xD), Nail Shop Paris (gyuri eonni is beautifully handsome!) dan terakhir I Hear Your Voice. Eh IHYV ini belom kelar sih, 2 episode tersisa, masih ongoing. Tokoh utamanya Lee Jong Suk as Park Soo Ha. Naahhh gegara ini drama jadi (lagi) demen banget sama dia kyaaaaaa xD Padahal udah tau Lee Jongsuk dari jaman dia di Running Man (lupa ep berapa, guest bareng lee Jonghyun, Kim Woobin n Kim Sooro) pas School 2013 lagi booming. Ya mungkin karena di RM efek ada Jonghyun nya jadi ga terlalu merhatiin, cuma tau oh-cakep-yaudah. Terus iseng youtube-ing video2nya Jongsuk. Eh nemu yang buat Ceci magazine. Baru tau banget pronounciation 'Ceci' itu kayak nama gw (se-si). Kenapa bisa tau? Karena di akhir video Jongsuk nya bilang 'I love Ceci' KYAAAA berasa BUAT GW!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHA *kumat*
(update: this is the so-called cideo HAHA)

yaudah gitu aja. doakan semoga nulis laporan selancar nulis postingan gaje macem gini di blog :"
DEADLINE: 15 AGUSTUS!

100 facts of me

Let's see if I can fill the whole list.

1. I have one younger sister
2. An Aquarian
3. Never have a boyfriend (yeah, for real. I don't think it's something embarassing)
4. Always wish to have cheetah as a pet
5. If I can't have it as pet, I would like to reincarnated as one in my next life (if such thing exists)
6. I-hate-cockroach
7. I dislike vegetables
8. I read a lot. Though lately what I've been reading is just my twitter timeline.
9. I draw a lot. Manga style, usually.
10. I love to sing along to songs I know.
11. I want to be a fashion designer.
12. But I don't think design is my passion, somehow I don't know what my true passion is.
13. I like to watch soccer. Juventus and Chelsea. forza Italia!
14. I used to like F1, when Kimi was still with Ferrari.
15. I like sport cars, Fast Furious effect.
16. I like being unique and different than other people.
17. I like to watch Victoria's Secret Fashion Show
18. My favorite VS angel is Candice Swanepoel
19. Judgemental, sometimes. Trying hard to decrease it.
20. I read people, making my own assumptions about them, influenced by Sherlock Holmes. Not as accurate as him  of course.
21. I don't like exposing myself. Though this post expose me a lot lol.
22. I always wanna try to run from home. But then I realize I'll have trouble for things to eat and place to sleep.
23. Sometimes when I see my wrist, I want to suicide by slitting it. But too scared of the pain I'll get.
24. I am Arashi and SS501 fan. I don't dare to call myself a CN Blue fan because I don't update much about them.

I give up, too lazy to write haha.
And too lazy to change the title :b

10 days

Sudah PKL selama 10 hari kerja. Selama itu udah ngeliat berbagai SPT. Bahkan dari ribuan itu bisa aja SPT nya om gw nyampe ke tangan gw, yang mana langsung dikepoin. Udah liat STP dan berbagai jenis SKP. Udah bikin kesalahan-kesalahan kecil pas ngerjain tugas. Yang jelas sih, udah nyemil macem-macem :9 hahaha. Awalnya karena agak gabut jadi berasa bosen. Tapi karena lama-lama kerjaan gw mulai jelas, lumayan seru juga. Ah, lumayan bikin capek mata sih, karena ngeliat ke monitor terus. Padahal di rumah juga sama aja (liatin layar laptop juga), tapi beda lah rasanya. Di hari terakhir di seksi pelayanan, ditraktir sarapan sama Pak Kepala Seksi. Menunya adalah: Nasi Bogana. Apaan tuh? Sama, gw juga gatau, itu pertama kalinya tau dan makan. Dibungkus daun pisang gitu. Rasanya sih mirip nasi uduk, dilengkapi dengan berbagai lauk yang mirip lauknya nasi uduk juga. Terus warna nasinya ijo :o. Gugel punya gugel, ternyata nasi bogana itu makanan khas Tegal, Jawa Tengah. Dan umumnya sih nasinya putih aja, ga ijo. Mmm yang gw makan spesial mungkin *halah* (terus kok rasanya ini berasa seperti blog kuliner...... /yaudahsih)

Di hari ke-11 nanti, rencananya sih masuk seksi ekstensifikasi. Tapi Ulfah udah ngerjain most of the tasks. Mungkin gw akan santai haha. Di pelayanan kerja banget. Tapi mending sih daripada gabut, mati gaya dong gw.-. Well, look forward tomorrow~ Semoga di seksi yang baru nanti banyak cemilan juga. Atau mungkin gw akan nongol ke pelayanan cuma buat nyemil /plak.

Self-centered

Dunno why but got this feeling last night. My hang-out friends now have their own(?) partner, makes us no longer hanging out together. Makes me feel being left haha. When I think a bit more, I know I'll be like them if I'm in their position. So I hate myself to have such thought/feeling.

#udahgituaja._.

Faith

I had(?) a cousin. She is way older than me, 30 something or so. Petite body, white skin, pretty, and smart too. She has high position in her job. She was dating a man, unemployed. My cousin was Moslem and her boyfriend is Christian. She was scolded by her family, they told her to break up with him. Then she acted like she broke up already........ while actually she didn't. She kept dating him secretly. Earlier this year, she asked her father to be allowed to marry him. Of course, her father gave a big no. Then she ran away from her home. After 2 weeks... (or a month, I didn't remember) she returned, bringing her boyfriend, and sungkem with her father. At that moment, coincidentally her uncles were also there. He asked her why she did sungkem with her dad and what's her religion. She answered Christian. Then it's revealed that they married and she changed her faith already. Immediately, her uncle declared she was no longer part of the family, not allowed to visit her mother's tomb and chased her out. She left, voluntarily, not bringing any of her things, without any expression.

So......... basically that story was a prologue to my opinion towards this matter. Religion is something sensitive right? It affects your life, wholly. In my view, she prepared this for a long time. 'No expression' means she is resolved, and she's not going to show any weakness by crying. She already predicted about what's going to happened and prepared her heart. I pity her father of course. But I pity her too. I feel sad because I lost a family. But I think your choice of faith is part of human rights. It's even protected by the law and it's on Undang-Undang Dasar. Traditionally, your religion is something which go down from your ancestors. through generation in your family. So, if someone change his/her faith, it's almost sure that they will be exiled by their family.

Me? Well, I'm not interested in changing mine. Though I can't say that I'm a good Moslem (heck I even want to try those vodka, martini and their friends! Controlling myself not to is quite an effort), I did my best... well okay not my best yet, to follow all the do's and don'ts. I don't know which religion is right, since each of them definitely say "I'm the right one". But since I don't understand well about my current religion, I can't judge "it doesn't suit me" or "other religion is better". I don't understand what's in front of me yet, so I don't have the confidence to reach other things and learn about them thoroughly. Oh I know a little about Christian, Catholic (and major difference between both), Buddha and Hindu. I have good friends from each one (bless my highschool and my classmates there). Even so, we live in harmony. Sometimes they reminds me to pray hahaha. Even Thya once asked me when will I wear hijab since my other friends are starting to wear it (speechless).

Well whatever yours is, do your best to follow it, respect others' and the choices they make.
Don't forget, always keep the faith!
.
.
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(I sound like a Cassie haha)



(PS: actually want to write this since months ago)

GPA

The things I feared the most are:
1. God
2. Cockroach
3. Bad score
Well yeah I got that 'Hermione-trait' a bit. My GPA is off target, way too low than what I expected. I know I'm not that smart nor dilligent. But this term GPA is way too low for my standard. Can I cry? No? Too late, cried already pffffttt.
Call me drama queen or whatever but this is my 2nd time crying over my bad score. ARGH I HATE MYSELF T.T
dammit my inferiority complex strikes shiiiiiittt